The election is done.  As predicted by everyone except for George W. Bush and Karl Rove, Congress is in the hands of the Democrats. The pundits generally read the election as a repudiation of the Bush-Cheney Doctrine.  Exit polls point to the Iraq War as the main reason for the “thumping” given to the GOP.  The growing casualty figures, the endless cycle of violence, and an open-ended conflict has affected Americans in a way that’s reminiscent of Vietnam.

My review this week was going to be about Borat.  But when every draft I wrote looked exactly the same (“Borat is good, it is very very very funny, go see it, you will like it, the end”), I decided to focus on something that’s a little less certain: the state of the new fall TV line-up (ok, in all seriousness Borat is great, it’s very funny, go see it-but don’t take your mother, father, child, priest, rabbi, or anybody else with whom you’d feel uncomfortable watching two naked, hairy men wrestle each other for a good four minutes.  You’ll thank me later).  November sweeps is upon us, and it’s time to see which of the newbies can hold their own against the angry Others, sexually-frustrated surgical interns, and socially-awkward forensic experts in TVLand.

I’m not into dropping names, and I think it’s rude to call out specific brand names, especially if you’re going to insult them.  Besides, if I was going to list each and every culprit out there, I’d need at least two columns this week.  So, while I don’t really care for generalizations either, I’m going to make an exception in this case.

I’ve noticed a very wei rd growing trend lately.  Many of the people who attend professional sporting events no longer know how to cheer, and according to studies, half of them are more interested with halftime shows and mascots than they are with viewing the games.  Here’s a heads up to all the so-called fans that are more entertained by the Philly Fanatic than Ryan Howard…STOP GOING TO GAMES.  Nothing infuriates me like seeing these family types that have courtside seats and have no idea what is going on in front of them.  I don’t really care if this dramatically hurts sales, if you aren’t interested in the teams or the sport then don’t go to the game.  These brainless people are the central problem with the downward spiral of the actual cheers during a game.

Philosopher and historian Will Durant once said that the first threat to a society lies not beyond its borders, but within them. With respect to America, there is perhaps no better way to illustrate this truth than a description the dangerous exploits of none other than Kool-Aid Man.

If you are looking for a scary, exciting, wonderfully disgusting film this Halloween, do not go see Saw III.  Given the spirit of the holiday, I gave in to my temptation to review the third installment in the popular Saw franchise.  As a devoted fan of the horror genre, I have to admit a certain degree of excitement upon the release of this film.  They are light-years away from anything remotely resembling quality films, but I enjoyed the clever killings and corny acting of the first Saw, and I even appreciated the second film’s attempt to rehash the same scenario in gut-wrenching new ways. 

This column has been very difficult to write.  It has been two weeks of false starts, frustration, and futility. My plan was to discuss the coming midterm election, but my thoughts are muddy and my focus is shot.

For people now just waking up, the World Series did in fact take place.  The ratings for the fall classic could not have been more pathetic, which proves my theory once again that the general public hates Joes Buck.  The more conventional reasoning was that St. Louis and Detroit just aren’t interesting enough markets to draw attention.  What I know for sure is that when David Eckstein is the series MVP for an 83 win team that is a sure sign of the apocalypse.  Anyone who played fantasy baseball and watched Eckstein hit .363 in the series basically was vomiting uncontrollably on Friday night. 

I want to make it clear that I am not out to make the MDA look like a completely bad organization. There are many people that work for the MDA who truly want to help. However, many of the people that work at the MDA are similar to the people that work at Burger King. It does not mean they have to be nice or enjoy their job. It does not mean they have to help people. All it really means is they need a job and they have one.

In the canon of historical figures, you’d be hard-pressed to find many who are less sympathetic (and more in need of some good PR management) than Marie Antoinette.  If you poll Americans chances are the only thing that they’ll know about the monarch from the late 18th century is her unfortunate culinary advice to the starving masses of France (in her defense, who wouldn’t prefer to eat cake?) that led to her one-way trip to the guillotine.  But despite a rocky showing at the Cannes Film Festival, Sofia Coppola’s latest girl-meets-world story, Marie Antoinette, is fresh, enlightening, and, pardon the pun, stunningly executed.

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With the World Series under way I feel it’s time to depress everyone with the reminder that professional basketball will soon be the day-to-day talk of the sports world.  Sure on Sundays we can all enjoy some overgrown men tackling each other, but the majority of sports fan nation will have to pay attention to the mundane world that is the NBA.  Oddly enough this is the reason that I absolutely love basketball season.  It is without a doubt my favorite period in the sports calendar.  Basketball takes us through Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and even Valentine’s Day.  As a sport it really fits the feel of these overly commercialized corporate holidays.  When you don’t get that present you want or can’t find a quality valentine, just remember that teams like the Knicks, Celtics, Lakers, and Blazers are all half-assing it up and down the court on a nightly basis to please you.  Since there really is no point in trying to detail stories on every team I will breakdown the most interesting topics going into this new glorious NBA season.

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I recently lowered my head and shook it from side to side, languidly unhappy with a television ad.

It started with whites, then moved to African Americans, Latinos and finally Asians. As each group was mentioned, people would populate the image and their respective population percentage announced.

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The dark and ominous expression “We live in dangerous times” seems to have become something of a cultural catchphrase. Coined initially by public servants of all political shapes and sizes, the statement has seeped far into day-to-day public discourse.

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Do not go into The Science of Sleep expecting a conventional Hollywood film.  Fans of the film’s established movie/music video director Michel Gondry will immediately recognize his dreamlike, surrealistic style from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, as well as the music videos of Björk and The Foo Fighters, among others.  And for the Gondry fan, the film should live up to expectations, as he has once again succeeded in bringing us into his outlandish imagination.

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Rarely does the news from Washington disgust me.  The President admitted on September 6 that the United States was operating its own gulag, a small network of “detention centers” in secret locations outside our boundaries. Human rights groups made the initial charges, which the Administration dismissed as preposterous:  “I'm aware of the Amnesty International report, and it's absurd. It's an absurd allegation…. When there's accusations made about certain actions by our people, they're fully investigated in a transparent way. It's just an absurd allegation.”  (President’s press conference, May 31, 2005)

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Only in New York can it seem like the apocalypse after four measly baseball games.  Going into the division series with Detroit, the Yankees were being hailed as the best team in all of baseball, with possibly the best lineup ever, and arguably the manager of the year.  Four games later the Yanks were shut down twice, Torre’s job is in jeopardy, and there have been mass suicides throughout the Bronx.  So if you’re GM Brian Cashman how do you fix this?  How do you take this group of massive egos, paychecks, and underachievers and turn them into a world series winning team?

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The process of globalization, which is largely based on competition, tends to put a commercial expectation on the realms of activity people pursue.  It also fosters new forms of social organization that questions not only traditional ways of doing things, but shared values as well. Culture has to adapt over time to a variety of changes, both internal and external.  A problem that economic globalization presents for cultural diversity is whether or not the changes it brings about in values, lifestyles, and ways of doing things affects the artist's way to create and maintain expression and promotion in the public space so that citizens have access to and can participate in cultural life.  Where is art going in the global world?  A gray question for which I do not have the black or white answer. 

Jesus and I step into Red Sky at half past six and nonchalantly slide into a booth furthest from the door. The thick, leather booth is the deep blood red and the table is a sturdy oak that gleams beneath the stares of the candescent light bulbs above. Jesus loosens His tie and orders a vodka martini. I run my hand over the drink menu as if my mind isn’t already made up, and coolly order a Johnny Walker Red. The waitress smiles and tells us it will be a minute.